March 20th, 2009
|05:08 am - Virgin Mobile Is Gay (And Faggot)|
I finally got around to browsing for different ringtones and such on my phone's Virgin XL (VXL) service, which charges you 15cents a day just to have it. Fortunately, you can turn it off at any time, so I figured I'd find a couple of new ringtones and maybe a new wallpaper and then just turn the service back off.
So I get on to VXL and wade thru the shitty What's Hot section to get to the rock/alternative ringtones, where I then have to navigate past a giant Nickleback picture and songs that aren't alternative, and barely rock as far as I'm concerned. Keep in mind that information on this servce is passed back and forth by a cadre of drunken midgets. I get to the second page, and I see "Afterlife" by Avenged Sevenfold. Okay, I like that band, but I've never heard this song before. I'll just click on it and preview the song. Not today (or any day) asshole, as there's no preview feature.
After I scroll thru another page of sucktoberfest, I find Viva La Vida. Perfect. A song I know and am fond of. Download please. I purchase the tone, download it, and the next screen is...a god damn preview screen. Where the Hell were you two dollars and fifty cents ago, jerk! I hit play, assuming, and if you've this far you probably guessed that I've assumed wrongly, that the tone would be the intro to the song, which would be the best intro/ringtone translation since "Back In Your Head". Instead what I hear is the "WhoAAAAAooo" part. Whu, whu, WHAT?
At the end of my shift (I was dicking around with all this on my break), I go home to sample Afterlife, as well as Kings Of Leon's "Sex On Fire". Decided that I could live with both those as ringtones, and picked up a Comedian wallpaper. Come to think of it, I think it's the same picture as Josh's Naka Kon-bought wallscroll.
All in all, I did find some neat stuff (tho' I had to bang my head* against several walls to get it), and I can better understand people who stare into their little screens fishing for digital tchotckles. However, if you should ever see a spinning rim on my phone or hear the Annoying Frog version of Axel F enaminating from it, please punch me in the face--with a bullet.
*Metal health will drive you mad
March 9th, 2009
I went and finally started a Facebook page, since that's what everyone seems to have moved on to, but I'll still do stuff on here, mainly to do long winded stuff like what I'm about to do right now:
I couldn't get a hold of anyone on Friday, so at two in the morning I decided to just head East on Hwy 54 just to see where it would take me, maybe to the Kentucky border, clipping the ass end of Illinois. Instead I just settled on going to Joplin, MO then South to Fayetteville, AR, then on to tulsa and back home again. The excursion(No, not the SUV, because I'd have bankrupted myself on gas, plus I would have felt like a tool for driving it) ended up taking me 13 hours altogether, because I didn't really have a set direction, and I didn't have any cash, so Turnpikes were out. The highlight was just after sunrise when I could see all of the nice scenery and changes in elevation, marred slightly by the occasional crappy house(or town for that matter), especially on Highway 62 out of Fayetteville to Talequah, OK. After Talequah, though, the view became less and less picturesque and more like the nondescript lands we're all used to.
The only interesting things I saw then were a slightly overweight(and probably body-conscious) teen girl who, I'm guessing not of her own choosing, was dressed up like a double cheeseburger waving to passerby. I've never seen so much sad on one face before. The other thing was a dealership called All American Motors that had nothing but Kei trucks on it's lot. The only way that place's inventory could have been any more Japanese is if they had a soiled panty machine.
Y'know, I just realized if the FBI did a random search with the keywords "ass end", "teen girl", and "soiled panty" this post would be the first thing on the list.
February 24th, 2009
|04:52 pm - Late Night 2/10/09|
I was dicking around the NBC site and noticed Norm McDonald had been on Conan recently, so I watched the whole episode and decided to put the best parts( Norm's interview and a cooking segment with Gordon Ramsay) on here.
January 27th, 2009
|02:05 pm - On Her Majesty's Secret Budget Cuts|
OK, one more time with the car ads. This time a couple of Japanese Toyota spots featuring Roger Moore. I wasn't going to post any more but I was inspired by a dream I just had where I was buying a Rambler like this one
from an old lady who wanted $1000, and then $160 for it. Plus it was customized with chopped top, a sun roof, and a green paint job with gold flowery trim. Don't ask me how one relates to another.
January 25th, 2009
|02:07 pm - If You're Wondering How She Eats And Breathes, And Other Science Facts, Then Repeat To Yourself,|
"It's just a silly comic strip, I should really just relax."
The really nice thing about being unemployed with no cable(That's not true, but it's the shitty eleven dollar cable package, so it might as well be no cable) is that I have fewer distractions from working on that comic I told y'all about earlier. Sometimes I get side-tracked, or just plain lazy on a certain day, but that's another story. I'm a dozen pages into it so far, but I'm going about it back-asswards. I started it in the same loose leaf notebook as the La Pucelle monster comics, but as I got further along, I started plotting out the dialog and sometimes camera angle of the page I was working on...which I'm doing on blank paper. The lined paper is helpful in panel ceation, however, not to mention horizon and word placement. If you've ever seen my handwriting, you'd know that I need all the help I can get.
The other concern I had was the originality of the plot, worrying that I was ripping off Reaper or Dead Like Me, but there were other shows I hadn't even concidered until after I started, such as Buffy The Vampire Slayer. There aren't any vampires in my story, but I can see some parallels between the two. And then last Friday at Cody's I was describing the basic idea to Tim and he said, "So I'ts kinda like Bleach?" So this morning I checked imdb and sure enough, every show mentioned did something I was doing first, with Dead Like Me being the most similar. Hell, there's probably some part of The Grim Adventures Of Billy & Mandy I'm style biting.
That said, It's a good thing I didn't look into that before I started puting pencil to paper, or I'd have gotten discouraged and not even started. Now I realize that it's nigh-on-impossible to have an original idea, or it at least takes a more fertile mind than mine. Also, my comic's more for my own personal amusement anyway.
January 23rd, 2009
I enjoyed that Shiek Toyota ad so much I decided to peruse Jalopnik's treasure trove of TV car adverts, and damned if I didn't find some jems. I say jems because like the cartoon heroine, these spots are truly outrageous. Truly truly truly outrageous.
January 22nd, 2009
January 6th, 2009
|06:48 pm - Chicken and Rice Recipe(Serves 3)|
6 chicken breasts(fresh or frozen)
1lb. of frozen broccoli and cauliflower
1 cup of rice
1 lb. jar of Ragu Double Cheddar cheese sauce
Oil large skillet and place chicken and vegetables inside on medium high heat for about 30 min. Sprinkle chipotle seasoning at the start. Cover and turn occasionally, adding more seasoning on first turnover.
Halfway through, put rice and 2 cups water in dish and microwave for 15 minutes uncovered. After all other ingredients are finished cooking, put cheese sauce in bowl and microwave for three minutes. Serve components separately or combine in large dish, draining excess oil from chicken and vegetable mix first.
January 3rd, 2009
|03:04 pm - Austraila|
I wasn't doing anything yesterday, so when my Mom and sister invited me to go see Australia with them, I decided to take in a free show. I thought it would be a typical action adventure type film, but was more like a sweeping epic type of deal. At least I think that's what they were going for. The impression I got was that it was kind of a filmed Harlequin romance novel, coming to this conclusion after about the fifth slow motion shot of Hugh Jackman's torso. I think he was doing something with a horse as well. Bonus. The other main annoying thing was the half-white half-aborigine kid who narrates the movie as well as become a focal point. He's about a irritating as Jake Lloyd while talking like Jar Jar Binks. He can wield aborigine magic so I guess his midichlorians are in no short order, too.
The basic plot you've seen probably a thousand times before(In Clinton's case, I'd say definitely, as well as done better) where man and woman meet, dislike each other. He thinks she's a stuck-up bitch, she believes he's an oafish lout. Then three hours of stuff happens, they fall in love, have a big falling out and then fall back in love in time for the villian to be killed and for everyone to have a happy ending. And just in time too, the credits are about to roll!
December 26th, 2008
|10:14 pm - ChibiUsa's Seventh Birthday|
ChibiUsa's Seventh Birthday
By Robert Tsunai
This is a hentai story about ChibiUsa. If you don't like Incest, Child sex,
lesbian sex, bondage, anal sex,or things like that you probably shouldn't read
this. In this story, ChibiUsa has sex of some sort with every senshi.
If you want to skip to a certain senshi, I've marked off the different people's
with stars. Here is the order they do her in:
Mamoru - a good hard incestous fuck, bondage
Rei - An All-too -big rod and some torture.
Haruka First a good spanking then doubledildo sex.
Minako - Tit stuff and kissing and fondling
Michiru - They lick each other's pussies
Makoto Double Fist/double foot Fuck(lots of pain)
Ami - banana fucks ChibiUsa's butthole and whips.
Setsuna - Uses the Time staff on Small Lady
Hotaru - They rub pussies and make out
Usagi - 69, tit stuff
Feel free to read this if you're a minor, though, people under 18 should be able
to have fun too!
It was CHibiUsa's seventh birthday, June 30th, same day as Usagi.
She was very happy as everyone gathered around her singing happy birthday.
She looked around again at them and noticed something - none of them had any
presents. "Wh-Where are the presents?" She asked, a little dissapointed.
"This year you're getting a different kind of present, ChibiUsa," Rei said to her.
"Your first sexual experiences," Makoto said
"You will have an orgasm by each and every one of us," Usagi told her. "ChibiUsa,
go to the bedroom and wait. We'll decide who goes forst."
"I... I'm not sure about this.. I ... no, I don't wanna do this, " Chibi Usa
stated. Witrhout a word, Haruka picked her up and carried her to the bedroom. She
pinned her down and tied each of her limbs to the corners of the bed. ChibiUsa
screamed and writhed and yelled, but to no avail. Haruka joined the others in the
other room who were deciding who should go first.
"I should go first, I'm her mother!"
"Can I? I'm her best friend..."
"She should have her virginity taken first, I should go."
"hey, I just tied her down... So let me go first."
Ami spoke up. "I think Mamoru should go first.. He is her father, and she should
have her virginity taken. And no matter who goes first, we'll all get to watch
anyway." THe others reluctantly agreed. They all stripped down and walked into
the bedroom where ChibiUsa was tied down.
The 9 naked girls sat down on the other bed to watch as Mamoru approached ChibiUsa.
She trembled as he approached her. "ChibiUsa, I'm going to take our virginity. This
is going to hurt a lot, but in the end we'll bith enjoy it."
He positioned his rock hard dick at the entrance to her pussy. "ready, CHibiUsa-chan?"
"No!!! MAMOCHAN, NO!!!"
He forced his huge dick into his tight, wet, 7 year old daughter's pussy.
Rei got up. "my turn," She said with an evil look in her eye. In her hand was a
large dowel, with a diameter about the size of a soda can. She moved over to the
crying ChibiUsa, and without warning, pushed the 12 inch dowel into her aching,
bleeding pussy. SHe screamed again in pure pain as the huge object penetrated her.
Haruka got up next. She untied Chibi Usa and retied her face Down on the bed so
that she was on her knees. Haruka raised her hand and brought it down hard on ChibiUsa's
rear. ChibiUsa screamed as Haruka slapped her little ass again and again. Haruka then
turned her around again and got out her doulbe dildo. She pushed it up her pussy and
set it on VIBRATE. She positioned it at ChibiUsa's entrance, and pushed it in. ChibiUsa
yelled again as yet antoher object foced itself inside of her. "We're done now, you guys
can use it." Makoto inserted it into her own pussy and began having sex with Setsuna.
Minako arose. "Now the goddess of Love get's a turn!" She approached ChibiUsa and
untied her. "ChibiUsa, do you like my tits?" "I.. I don't know..." ChibiUsa said
"I know you do because you're always staring at them when I talk to you..."
"You knew that I liked your tits?"
"Of course, and if you had asked I would have shown them to you, that's what I did for
the others when they asked."
"Can... Can I touch them?"
"Do whatever you like to them, ChibiUsa."
ChibiUsa grabbed one and began squeezing it. She pinched the nipple hard.
"ChibiUsa, do that harder..."
ChibiUsa began pinching pulling and twisting her nipple harder.
"Bite them ChibiUsa!"
ChibiUsa took the other nipple in her mouth and began biting it softly.
"Harder, ChibiUsa!! MAke it hurt!"
ChibiUsa began biting hard now, as Minako screamed. At the same time, Minako began
rubbing ChibiUsa's pussy. ChibiUsa moaned and kissed Minako passionately. Minako continued
rubbing ChibiUsa's pussy as they french kissed each other over and over. Minako located
ChibiUsa's clit and began pinching it. ChibiUsa moaned and came.
Minako returned to the bed and Michiru arose.
Michiru approached ChibiUsa. "ChibiUsa, would you like me to show you what Haruka and I
do every night?"
Michiru sat down on the bed next to her. "lie down and spread you legs." ChibiUsa did
as she was told. Michiru lowered her face to her hairless pussy and began running her
toungue down her pussylips. ChibiUsa moaned in ecstacy as Michiru's toungue licked her.
Michiru began pushing her toungue into ChibiUsa's hole, tasting her pussy juice. "Can I
lick your's too, Michiru-san?", chibiUsa moaned. Michiru got into 69 position. Chibiusa
stared in awe at the beautiful pussy in front of her face. She licked it, and Michiru
moaned. She bean licking it more, tasting her juices and sucking on her pussy lips.
ChibiUsa found Michiru's clit and cautiously took it into her mouth. She began flicking
it with her tongue and sucking on it. Michiru moaned loudly as ChibiUsa did this, and
began lickign ChibiUsa's clit. ChibiUsa writhed under her as she took it into her mouth
and lightly nibbled on it. ChibiUsa began doing the same thing to Michiru. Both moaned
louder and louder as they sucked and nibbbled each other's clits. "Michiru-san!",
Chibiusa shouted as she came, her pussy being taken over by waves of pleasure. As she
came, she mistakenly bit Michiru's clit harder than she had been, causing michiru to cum.
ChibiUsa licked the pussy juice up, and Michiru returned to the bed.
Makoto whent over to ChibiUsa. "ChibiUsa, I hope you like pain..." CHibiUsa nodded. "Yeah,
I do actually.. "
Makoto ordered her to spread her pussy wide. She did, and Makoto pushed 2 fingers inside
her.. ChibiUsa moaned, "More, Makochan!" Makoto pushed a third finger up ChibiUsa, and
then a fourth. Chibiusa was writhing on the bed as Makoto put more in her. Makoto
finnally pushed her entire fist up ChibiUsa's tight dripping pussy. ChibiUsa screamed as
Makoto pushed her fist in all the was past her wrist.
"Makoto!!! Make it hurt more!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Makoto obeyed ChibiUsa and pushed her other fist inside CHibiUsa too. ChibiUsa now had
both of Makoto's hands inside of her, and was bleeding all over the bed. Makoto decide to
make it hurt even more, and took her clit in her mouth, She began biting it hard. ChibiUsa
was still screaming for more pain, so makoto began pushing her foot into ChibiUsa's pussy
along with her hands. She forced the whole thing in, and ChibiUsa's pussy began bleeding
more, with two fists and a foot in her.
"Make it hurt even more!!!!!!!!!"
Makoto pushed her other foot into ChibiUsa. ChibiUSa was in so much pain that she came,
blood and cum spewing forth from her battered pussy. Makoto returned to the bed, and as
soon as she sat down, Rei spread her pussy and began pushing the rod she had into her. He
others joined in and bit her nipples and clit.
AMi got up and went to the bed where the bleeding cum covered ChibiUsa lay. "ChibiUsa,
you're a bit too tender for anything vaginal, so I'm going to push this banana up your
asshole.", she said, holding up a long yeelow banana. Ami was smacking chibiUsa with both
hands now as she pumped the banana in and out of ChibiUsa's asshole.She called out, "toss
me that whip!" to the others on the bed. They chucked it to her and resumed tortuening
Makoto. Ami took the whip and began whipping ChibiUsa's ass hard with it. At the pain of
the whip on her, ChibiUsa screamed. She abruptly turned around so ami's whip hit her pussy
instead of her ass. The pain searing through her made her cum. Ami pulled out the banana
and returned to the other bed.
Setsuna walked over to ChibiUsa, the time staff in her hand.
"oh PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!" she screamed as she came. Setsuna removed the Time
"Did you like that, Small Lady?"
"Yes, thank you Puu!"
Hotaru approached ChibiUsa shyly.
"I.. I don't know where to begin... ChibiUsa..."
"How bout kissing her, Hotaru-chan," Haruka encouraged from the bed.
She neared ChibiUsa and kissed her on the lips. They began kissing passionately, and
ChibiUsa rolled onto Hotaru. "Hotaru-chan," She moaned between kisses, "Let's rub our
pussies together." "Okay", Hotaru moaned as ChibiUsa kissed her. ChibiUsa positioned
her pussy directly over Hotarus and began pumping her hips. Hotaru moaned adn moved her
hips in time with ChibiUsa's. Bith girls were dripping pussy juice all over each other
as their pussylips ans clits touched again and again. Hotaru moaned as their sexes
touched again and again. Both girls came as their pussies met.
Hotaru laid there next to ChibiUsa on the bed for a few seconds as her orgasm subsides.
She kissed her best friend on the lips and returned to the other bed.
Usagi arose and walked over to her daughter.
They both instantly knew what they wanted to do. They assumed the 69 position and began
licking each others pussies.
"Ummm.. ChibiUsa, you taste sooooo god"
"Umm, Usagi, oh!!"
ChibiUsa began squeezing Usagi's tits as she licked her, pinching the nipples.
Usagi began doing the same to ChibiUsa's small nipples.
They both came to a climax as they licked each other's clits and squeezed each other's
Usagi returned to the bed and ChibiUsa sat up.
"Everyone, that was the best birthday present ever!!!"
"So, ChibiUsa, you up for another fuck?," Mamoru asked.
"Yea!" She shouted, as she ran over to the bed to have sex with all the others again.